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What happens when one person in such a connection can sustain an ongoing spiritual communion, the other cannot?
The relationship will revert back to a lesser expression of Sacredness or will end. Some persons, also, think they are ready for this, but find it intolerable - most persons would find it intolerable. Remember, all we are saying applies to groups, as well as two. What came to surprise me as a Christian pastor in the past, was to see how religious persons found intolerable spiritual intimacy, both with the Divine and each other. A lot of what went on in the church was activity and conflict that kept persons from being intimate, and worship was most often more a friendly social gathering, not a worship gathering. All this is the avoidance of spiritual connection - one of the most popular avoidances being staying busy doing good things - do-goodism, which is an ego game deflecting Love. As Sri Aurobindo clarified, we should not rush to decide how we are going to manifest Spirit in the world, rather we, first, allow time with the Divine for the Work to manifest. What persons often do in religion is to decide agendas of helping others without it arising from spending adequate time alone in communion with the Divine. Spiritually, activism cannot precede devotion, going out must follow going in, not vice versa.
Why the intolerance?
At every level of Spirit - say, body, mind, soul - the intimacy increases, while becoming more subtle, more powerful. At each aspect, one is unclothed more. Persons can experience intoleration in any aspect, not wanting to be seen. An example, in the psychological, or personal, relationship, a person can find a relationship intolerable due to being exposed emotionally. Some persons cannot sustain a physical relationship, often due to woundedness in that aspect; such as, in abuse. Also, some persons may miss some earlier development or healing and that can hinder sustaining a spiritual connection. In that case, the relationship becomes the container for the transformation of unresolved bodily or emotional pain or immaturity. No persons are whole when they meet as lovers, friends, or spiritual companions. A spiritual connection is like an electric current, and few can live in it.
So, if one finds the other cannot sustain it, what is the one who can sustain it to do?
Every relationship will take its own shape, for the one in Spirit, so let it. If it ends, let it. If it is more surface, it is that. The spiritual being lets relationships take shape around her, rather than trying to make relationships into something. Remember, a spiritual connection, once, repeated, or sustained over time, is received as a gift. Once any relationship, in whatever form it takes, even spiritual, no longer serves the purpose of manifesting Spirit, what would be the logic in trying to prolong it? In Spirit, all relationships come as gifts, so how can you claim it ought to continue, if it no longer needs to continue? So, general guidance here is never try to make or retain a spiritual connection or relationship. Here, I am speaking to persons who are devoted to the Way of spiritual evolution.
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